Starting a foundation for Molly has been on my heart and mind since I walked out of the hospital the day she died. I didn’t know how, what, where, when, or why, but I knew it had to happen. A few weeks ago, I was sharing a bit of Molly’s story with a gentleman who has come to my classroom for two years to work with my students on socioemotional skills. We really have never had a conversation that didn’t center around scheduling or specific concerns with my students. However, watching and listening to him interact with my students, I could tell we had similar thought patterns. When I shared with him the synopsis of Molly’s story, he said, “Wow. You know, I have decided that what Christians have done to promote shame and guilt is far more detrimental than the sin itself.” It was then, that I decided that it was time to get MollyROCK rollin’. (See what I did there? So punny) That is what I truly believe kept Molly from sharing her pregnancy…. she had such shame and guilt!
I won’t call her my “work mom” to her face again, but my work mom knows Molly’s story and she knows that my passion for my profession is shifting toward this foundation. She was the first person I told about what my classroom visitor said about shame and guilt. Over the holiday, she sent me this article: http://www.singlematters.com/why-pregnancy-before-marriage-isnt-sin/
Yes! I know we’ve come a long way from the days when unwed mothers were sent to communes to deliver their babies and have them be ripped away from them. (Thanks, Lifetime movie for that history lesson!) But, be real, how many times have you judged an unwed pregnant woman? Even if just a little tiny molecule deep down inside of you was judging? I am a wide-eyed liberal, and I’ll be honest, there was a speck of me that judged. (Sometimes I want to rethink ROCK. Being radical and open is exposing me a little bit.) This article is true. The sin is sex before marriage. Sin is sin is sin. I said a cuss word this morning, in God’s eyes that’s no different than the sin of premarital sex. Unfortunately, when I cuss, there’s no visible sign that I sinned following me around for close to a year. We are told that God works all things into good for His glory, so why doesn’t society see a new life as the tangible proof that God can make our sin into something beautiful? We don’t have to be ashamed, Jesus died on the cross so that we would have no shame in life.
I wish I had thought this through before Molly died. I wish she had talked to one of my dearest friend’s mom who got pregnant at 17. She was never going to tell, she was so scared, but when her family finally knew, she realized there was no reason to be scared. I wish she had realized that the child my oldest friend delivered out of wedlock saved her life. I wish I could have told her. I can’t, so I will be sure to tell every person I can. There’s no shame in sin, only sinners casting shame and guilt to deflect from their own shortfalls.
Keep MollyROCK in your life every day. Tell your kids that they are much more than their sin. Tell them that they don’t have the cognitive ability to reason big life decisions until their mid-twenties. Be their safe place.
More than meat loves salt,